Hard-Boiled Egg or the Bathroom

I have been drinking all night long and am swimming in my own thoughts. So, here I go, with my messy backstroke/quick keystroke.

My friend was recently caught masturbating on a plane. He was in the restroom and had unknowingly placed his arm on the wall. His staccato thumping against it had alerted the male flight attendant sitting in the jump seat, and he finally tapped out "Shave and a Haircut" on the wall to get him to stop. My friend just rapped back with the "Two bits" part and finished his business. Then, as he exited, he spent several minutes standing in the open bathroom doorway trying to locate his cell phone in his pants pockets...much to the chagrin of everyone in the coach bathroom/kitchen area.

His story whisked me down memory lane to a lonely trip from Dallas to Los Angeles, where a couple of bulky blankets and a sexy memory encouraged me to do the same thing. In my seat. No one was around to see me or scold me. But I still became my own hero again when I remembered it. Does that make me a junior member of the mile high club?

I am not the world's biggest exhibitionist. I generally enjoy the comfort, ease, and safety of a room in the home to do the deed in. Living room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, whatev. All the same. When the location changes, so does the reaction. It's hot, but the adrenaline causes an altered response that usually makes me wish I had something I don't--small tube of lube, handi wipe. Something. But the sexiness of impromptu public naughtiness can't be beat...God bless the Japanese for proividing me such magnificent automobiles to house me and my caged animal tactics. Also, thanks to the builders of that one bathroom in the Valley, the landscapers of that Park, and the managers of that bar that averted their eyes. And that couple that pretended they didn't see the enthusiastic and well-matched game of tonsil hockey happening in their lobby.

Here are my Places I Hope to Have Sex in for 2007:
A wooded area (waterfall a bonus)
Hot Tub
Top of a Refrigerator
A Closet (how's that for symbolism)
A United Nations Summit
Alcatraz Bathroom
UCB Theater
Taj Mahal
The Container Store in Orange County
The Home Depot on Sherman Way

Now you know. I will post the progress. I promise, my darlings. It's the least I can do.

hit it. g