Boyfriend-Sanctioned Infidelity

From the rooftops I shout, "I had sex with a stranger last night. And my boyfriend ENCOURAGED it!"

Welcome to my online confessional: home of grieving about death, concern over hygiene, scorn for celebutantes, and divulgence of sexual indiscretions.

Anyhow, I know you're wondering how this happened and how it can happen to YOU, too! Let me assure you, you'll find the answers here.

He showed up at my gate, and as I slowly drank in his image, it was clear what he wanted. I hesitated. Should I trust this man? Should I let him in the Treehouse and release all cautionary words my head was spewing forth?

I sighed, and opened the gate wider to allow him inside. I was no match for him. As we silently ascended the steps, I wondered what I was in store for. I could feel the energy between us, like an electric wire had just snapped and was dancing in the same puddle of water we were standing in. Except we weren't standing anywhere...we were walking towards my living room, kitchen...and bedroom.

The minute we walked in the door it was like someone had lit some sort of sex fire in the room and we had to Do It in order to put it out. I barely had time to turn on some fuck music, people. Seriously. In retrospect, the frenzied pace was a good thing, because if I had let my head have a chance to weigh in, it would have told me "Stop! This is not a good idea! The man you have committed yourself to will be maaad! And you might get herpes!"

My eyes, usually permanently closed in celebration of ecstacy, were wide open, still taking in the scene. Who was this man who had shown up on the Terrace with the intention of maneuvering past the gate and having his way with me? Who was he, with his baby-soft skin and shortly cropped hair?

Oh yeah. It was my boyfriend.

Oh man. This is embarassing. My bad. See, the thing is that My Pablo went from Kenny Loggins lookalike to Shorn Hipster in one night. It was such a dramatic change that I barely even recognized him. Whoops, my darlings. I promised you something I could not deliver. I guess after all this time I still can't figure out how to both have a boyfriend and nail someone else with his permission. Well, nuts. Sorry to have gotten your hopes up. That's just the way life is, kid.

lessons. g