You Mean War of the AWESOMES (pt. 1)

SPOILER! SPOILER! Seriously, don't make me waste any more time mentioning that these next two entires are big, fat, joyous spoilers for the latest Spielberg flick War of the Worlds. Heard of it? You will...

Holy living fuck. Can I jump right to the bottom line here? Some movies manage to balance a story, living breathing chracters, and wicked special effects and turn it into a delightful menagerie of wonder. I haven't felt this giddy since I was a wee lass watching Jurassic Park.

War of the Worlds is a force to be reckoned with. I already want to go back and see it again. I am on an adrenaline rush that will last for a couple more hours, easy. Are you sensing that my sentences are choppy, and there is a decided lack of structure to my paragraphs? I can barely type the correct letters here, I'm so excited.

Sister Mary Francis! This is what movie-watching is all about!

This movie made me want to be a part of this industry all over again.

I was a little annoyed with the TomKat shit...all the publicity...all the speculation...it put me off my feed a little. A little. And two minutes into this flick, I forgot it all ever happened. I was drawn in, transcending myself and my problems and my uncomfortable bra and the fact that Adam Scott of Aviator and Monster In-Law fame thought I was funny and made eyes at me. None of that mattered.

All that mattered what that Ray was not the best dad in the world who had to protect his children when he didn't know how, and that Rachel was scared, and Robby was brave and cavalier and cocky. And people were dying. And no one knew what to do.

This movie is fucking scary. The whole second half made me nauseated, I was so scared. These aliens are badasses and they were here to wipe us out. US. Not the people on the goddamn screen my darlings, US.

I am not even going to launch into the specifics of why I thought this movie was one of the most satisfying flicks I've seen in a long time. I am just going to let my fingers express how happy my heart is right now. I am going to let my heart keep beating at rabbit-speed, and let my cheeks ache from the smiling.

I'll explain myself better in the second half of this essay, which I will write after I have gotten some sleep and returned to the Land of the People Who Might Not Have Seen This Movie Yet. It's not necessarily a place I want to be, but I will return to it nonetheless.

Right now, just know that this movie is not to be missed. Get that Hollywood Big Budget Films Suck chip off your shoulder and see this remake. Learn why this story couldn't lose, and see how it achieves a spot in my honored and exclusive DVD collection PRONTO, NO QUESTION. THE CAPITAL LETTERS MEAN THAT I AM FUCKING SERIOUS.

And no, for those of you wondering, I have not ingested any foreign substances into my body except for a Baja Fresh burrito. Maybe the chicken was bad, sure, but I'll take it!

Stay tuned for the more coherent PART TWO. g