Changing your Perspective

This morning I rolled over, opened my eyes, and was overcome with sadness. I couldn't shake it as I put on my gym shorts and tank top and fixed my energy shake. As I got into my car, I realized that the loud, smashing chords coming from my White Stripes CD sounded like my insides felt. I knew what was bothering me. I knew why I was upset.

This entire chapter of my life is over.

I place a high value on the people I surround myself with. They are a part of me, somewhere a little to the left of my spleen and above my gall bladder. They are all special. I consider them part of what makes me who I am...

...and two of the most important ones are gone.

I don't mean that they've died or anything. I just mean that officially, two of them are no longer around and available for me anymore. They have moved on. They are somewhere else, in a land that does not know I exist. Or it's at least trying to forget, anyway.

These two people were the ones that I held closest to me. I sought their guidance and their love in some pretty rough times...and even when I left them, I always returned. Their importance always brought me back. It was hard to be without them. Now, we've all reached a point, for one reason or another, where there's no looking back.

I went on a hike so I could have a chat with myself. I needed to straighten some things out. I needed to talk with the big guy himself, get the chemicals flowing, and stop feeling terrible.

Although I do, in fact, have a face and do not know what true suffering is, I was still feeling bad. I know that when my head gets like this I need to rise above it...literally. The canyons were a callin'.

As my heart pumped furiously and my breath became scarce, I realized that there are two ways I can go. I can dig my heels in, scream bloody murder, and get some premature wrinkles on my face. The other option is to cherish what I had, and have faith that things will work out the way they should in the end. Maybe someday things won't be like this. Perhaps, down the line, everyone will get what they want.

I need to learn how to draw strength from the fact that I miss them terribly. I need to make every important moment a testament to them. And every time I look out over this wonderful, crazy city, I'll know that my faith is all I've got. I'm thinking of you, boys. Always.

what a view. g