Funny.

It's funny how this city and I interact. When I ask it for things, it brings them to me.

Tonight I was on my way home from Whole Foods. I had some killer produce, a smattering of dried delicacies, fresh poultry, and a mind full of thoughts. There was someone I really wanted to talk to; someone I had been thinking about all day long in one form or another. Even the Sinatra oozing out of the stereo and the cool air on my face couldn't distract me from that head of mine, resting so heavily on my shoulders.

I was going to be responsible for once, and get some gas before it became an issue (which it always is). I slowed down, left blinker a'blinkin'. Just down south of me at the light, a few cars readied themselves for the right turn that would prevent me from making a clean getaway into the Exxon. I turned left with trepidation, blocked slightly by one car.

He was in it.

I didn't have the presence of mind to honk. Instead, I yelled out his name and kind of reached my hand out. Of course, he didn't hear me and drove away, unaware. The metaphor hit me, and although it was reminiscent of some Harlequin romance novel, it still managed to make me sad.

I sat in my car, green gas station light spilling all over my hands and legs. I picked up my phone, dialed his number, and got no answer. Any other day, I would have shurgged it off. Maybe I would have laughed and thanked the city for listening to me. But tonight, my darlings? Tonight it made me feel hopeless.

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