The Best Kind

The earth that we walk on has a pulse. If you tread softly, you can almost feel it beneath the soles of your feet, throbbing. This large ball of rock with a gravitational pull is spinning because of an energy that exists that we feed on and in turn fuel, in one big neverending cycle. It is stronger than steel, and deep in your heart, you already know what it is.

Slut Magic.

Slut Magic makes all things possible. It is this kind of wizardry that allows the world's blood to keep flowing through its veins.

Slut Magic is the fairy dust that makes booty calls free of cell phone drop-out, thus enabling the driver to obtain the green light (and location) worry-free. It also aids in g-spot orgasm, finally screwing that one person you've had your eye on for years, and sex that makes satellites spontaneously combust in the atmosphere around your latitude and longitude.

Slut Magic is the reason that we can never completely abandon sex, no matter how much we think we can rise above it. It is an itch in your soul that can only be scratched one way. Slut Magic does not compromise. It knows no boundaries and sees no color. It is an equal opportunity affector.

The oldest kind of magic around makes your decisions for you. It lives within you. It is the mitochondria in your every cell, converting the food you eat into slutty energy. It is the powerhouse that makes you what you are right now, as you read this.

So go, young squire, and honor thy Slut Magic. Make eyes at some nice looking gal in your office. Bite your lip and raise an eyebrow at that dashing young man in the mailroom. Better yet, have sex with these people. And it will be then that Slut Magic is pleased, and then that the world can stay balanced.

use your glucose. g