A Way with Words

I have more male friends than female friends. This is because I enjoy drinking beer and punching people on the shoulder more than I like talking about my feelings and hearing "like" and "you know" 400 times in a row. But strangely, according to PRhead, I am too much man for him...he determined this because in conversation I have revealed that I require minimal cuddling after sex and fall asleep quickly afterwards. I also refuse to ask my men the post-hitting-it-question of "What are you thinking?" (because I know the answer is Nothing), and I have been known to offer certain special men certain special benefits without trying to trick them into becoming my boyfriend (I call it the Golden Ticket) (and it don't come out of no candy bar, neither).

The thing PRhead said that surprised me came after a particularly spirited screening of Journey of Natty Gann. He and the Mighty G and I were discussing my large bay window right next to my bed. The G mentioned that she wasn't sure how much she would enjoy putting her romantic conquests on display like that (even though I have reliable shades). Paul scoffed and said something along the lines of: "Are you kidding? Grae is so forthcoming with her sexuality that I don't think she even notices there's a window there, much less worries about who's watching." Then he kind of did a "Whee, look at me, I am doing it and you are watching through a large bay window" kind of dance.

So this is what guys think of me, I guess. And I am okay with that, because that is the side of me that I choose to broadcast. I volunteer with a guy named Sugar Sean. He mentioned once when we were just getting to know each other that he liked my hair. I told him thanks, and he continued that he liked it because "it always looks like you just got done fucking someone." I took that as the greatest compliment anyone had ever paid my hair.

And sometimes, my darlings, it's true.

The fact that men say these things to me is a positive sign. I get to see the side of guys that most chicks miss. I find them overall endearing and wonderful creatures...and sometimes, they present you with real gems. For instance: I love the way that men refer to women they think are hot. Most guys I know are not gross or misogynist, but they're not made of stone either. So occasionally these wordsmiths will rock my world with a phrase or saying. I find myself hoping that when I'm not around, someone refers to me this way.

Example #1: Hot ticket. Use: "That girl, she sure is a hot ticket." This is so super cute. It sounds all old-timey and proper. Underneath that, though, lies the fire to fuel a thousand suns. It also reminds me of actual hot tickets that I would do anything to get, like for the U2 show.

Example #2: She is built for speed. Use: "Check out that girl on the treadmill over there...yeah. She's built for speed." My trainer Bill actually said this to me one day as I was on the elliptical. The woman he was talking about was totally hot: 5'9", long blonde hair, well-endowed, tan, killer bod. Bill was speaking the truth. She had that LifeCycle charged up to at least 6.0, and she was jogging in a serious way.

What euphemisms do you have for hotties? There are so many, but few stick. I hope you will add to my catalog...or you can just talk about my Fuck Me Hair.

moan. g