Hell Yeah!

I am listening to Gretchen Wilson's "Redneck Woman" song this morning. Yesterday on the treadmill, I watched a CNN profile on her and it got me thinking. She told that typical story: no record company wanted me, I didn't fit the mold, then someone took a chance and now I'm a superstar and have won a couple Grammys. You go, namesake.

I've heard this song before. She talks about how great WalMart is, how hot she is in sweatpants, and how she likes babies and stuff. At the time, I was in an Echo Park boutique buying some deconstructed skirt and a furry jacket, and the irony of that was not lost on me. I kind of scoffed at the song, because I was thinking "Victoria's Secrets bras CAN be really nice, much better than the ones in packages at Target," and "I kind of like swigging champagne." Luckily, the effort of pulling out my check card distracted me enough to ignore the rest of the tune.

The song is catchy. But after seeing that profile on her, I started thinking about how all these material things we obtain really do define us. Gretchen Wilson, without the name and song, might be considered white trash in some circles. Rita Wilson, on the other hand, would be a rich bitch. No relation, by the way.

Let me hear a big hell yeah for today's versatile woman, is what I'm thinking. When left to her own devices on a Saturday in the garden, she prefers her comfy Orioles net shorts and sneakers. The next Friday, she's gotten her hair done, is wearing something silky, and put some rose petals on the bed. For vacation? Sometimes it's camping in the desert, sometimes it's Milan. And for refreshment, she can enjoy Country Time Lemonade from the can or Cristal from P Diddy's fingers. It doesn't matter.

A woman like this would be a force to be reckoned with. She fits in anywhere, anytime. And luckily, I think that for the majority of youngsters, this is the rule rather than the exception. We have no choice but to go with the flow and live within our means, so if we are blessed enough to get to Europe, then great. But Indio will do. As long as we have someone around to cuddle.

Beware, ladies: if you are leaning towards being this versatile woman, it will be the first thing you lose once you find "stability." Right now, life is full of good friends in the same position as you: chasing a dream with very little funds to show for it. We know how to cherish our time spent together with friends and lovers. The things we do don't center around shelling out dough, and even a night of channel-surfing with crazy friends ends up producing the kinds of memories we need for the nursing home porch. At this point in our lives, everyone splits the bill. There is very little routine in our days. Weekdays are synonymous with weekends. And being able to buy our coffees in the AM and some shoes at DSL means we are comfortable.

Soon, though, this will disappear. Our pot-luck barbecues with all the superstars there will turn into a calm, resigned dinner for two couples at the Cheesecake Factory once every three years. Remember the time you brought a 40 oz. of High Life to a special friend's house at 11PM and spent the rest of the night eating Ben and Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk ice cream off each other's tummies? That will become flannel PJs and sex with your husband once a week when the kids have soccer practice.

Look out. Youth is meant to be lost. Get out there and further your own Manifest Destiny before it's too late! Don't worry so much about your job or your credit cards. Go to the park. Roll around in the grass. Jump in a fountain somewhere. Eat a picnic in your living room. Lick someone's fingers. Turn the stereo up really loud and dance like no one is watching. Call in sick and spend the day at the museum. Go to the picture show. Seize this moment, versatile women and men. Figure out what this life is about before you get too decrepid to enjoy it.

run. g