Be Like Mike
(Written while listening to "PYT" off the Thriller Album)
The image of Michael Jackson sitting in a courtroom, letting moral outrage and disbelief ooze out of his bleached pores is a creepy visual that keeps me awake at night. Recently things took a weirder turn.
Mikey didn't wanna show up to court. The teenager who recovered from cancer only to be allegedly molested is currently testifying, and I think that put Mike "off his feed," so to speak. So, he decided that he could take the day off and watch cartoons--I think he felt it was his right to decide, since he has been lit on fire, entertained countless Asians, and rocks the one silver glove look.
The judge got all pissy, as judges do because they're all alcoholics. He decided that a warrant was going to be issued for Jackson's arrest if he didn't show, so his lawyers hopped on the horn and got him over there. I guess he arrived in the knick of time. Here's the cool thing: he showed up in his jammies.
When you're the King of Pop, you can wear your jammy-jammers anywhere you want. Look at Hugh "Badass" Hefner, for instance. Or Britney Spears. Don't we all aspire one day to be able to wear our PJs in public without being silently judged by others?
It really gives us all something to work towards. Save that money, work that extra hour, go the extra mile and achieve ridiculous amounts of success. Then you can leave on your camoflauge tank top, pink PJ pants, and King Kong slippers when you go to the movies. Wear a kimono and no underpants, even!
When I reach this level of personal excellence, I will wear my flirty-and-feminine pink and orange boxers that do NOT have that bubble butt thing happening (because they're made expressly for ladies, thanks so much). I will top it off with my tiny tee that says "I Heart Tractors." And then, as icing on the SleepyTime Wardobe cake, I will put on my floor-length polar fleece robe that has stars on it. Yes, now you know what I look like in my kingdom when I'm ready to turn in.
I call my little treehouse Neverland too, actually.
ABC easy as 123. g
posted by HellCat @ 8:56 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
That is a sartorial lovesplosion.
I know how I'm dressing MY Build-A-Bear.
Oh, and what, OH what, is wrong with the "bubble butt thing"?
Nothing. That's what. Trunks were made for junk.
As the Mighty G would say-- Easy, Turbo. Trunks WERE made for junk, and nothing is wrong with a fine delicious bootie. However, in the world of boxers, bubble butt for girls is useless. That extra piece of fabric is necessary only for accomodating the testicles, so the ladies can pare it down a little and look way cuter. This message was brought to you by the American Council on Teste Awareness.
We could all stand to be a little more aware of testicles. And their impact on the environment.
The environment of our pants.
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