Putting America on its Ear

So, the terrorists got us back in '01. They surprised us all and changed our existence. Now, we can't have any unticketed bon-voyagers accompany us to our departure gate at the airport. There are alerts in varying colors to tell us how nervous we should be in public places. Two of the most recognizable structures in New York's skyline are gone. And we lost a lot of family.

Well, for the past four-some-odd years we've been trying to hunt the baddies down and obliterate them. Maybe they live in spiderholes in the Middle East, and maybe they live next door to you. No one knows. So we've all spent the last four years freaking out...And this is exactly what they want.

The scariest thing is that these guys are trying something all the time. They get up in the morning (that is, if they ever sleep) and eat their Baby Killer Wheaties, then set out for a day of f'ing with the Americans. For variety they strap a bomb to their chest, grab a cup of Jihad Coffee, and play Splatterfest on buses. According to Wolf Blitzer on CNN this is like, a typical day for them.

I just heard their latest ploy. And now I am pretty spooked. I am now writing from under the covers, because these guys are ubiquitous and calculating and smart and this is all getting to be too much...

I heard on the news that, at one point, these heartless bastards wanted to kidnap Russell Crowe. They wanted to steal our Maximus, our Nash, our Hando. Our soul.

What kind of monsters are they?

Think how this would disrupt our lives. How could children learn their multiplication tables if their Cinderella Man went missing? Would you really be able to operate on that patient with a potentially fatal head tumor? Or what about YOU, sweetheart? How could you carelessly sit in that dockside bar, going from sailor to sailor while you know that The Crowe is getting bamboo shoots shoved under his fingernails? I certainly couldn't write this blog knowing that perhaps with every key strike, Russell was losing a chest hair by way of rusty pliers.

How would YOU would be affected by this? Be careful...if you think about this subject too much, you'll end up under your own covers.

Just pop in LA Confidential and take some deep breaths, honey.

It's gonna be okay.

still shivering. g