In Spite of it All

Well, my darlings, the madness never ends. Wanna hear?

-I was supposed to tape something important for my sister (she was on Entertainment Tonight last night). I left 45 minutes early to get home, and was met with an hour and fifteen minutes worth of traffic to get home. No tape. No sister, now, either. Ha ha.

-My beloved Volkswagen Graham Bingum's Check Engine light is on. Now, my darlings, when I say "beloved," I mean more "thorn in my side." I really am leaning more towards screaming "I should have gotten a goddamn Toyota like everyone told me to" instead of "I'm a 20-something, spiky-haired iPod owner, and I feel right at home in this vehicle!" This car is a joke.

-I had a severe reaction to a new herb I took this morning. I am only supposed to take it 2 weeks out of the month, and only 3 per day. I woke up, free of the congestion that has been plaguing me, and I accidentally took two of the pills at once. They smell like marijuana, by the way. I should be so lucky. Anyhow, I drank my yummy energy shake, unpeeled a banana, and marveled at my own ability to function so well before 530AM.

In the middle of the potassiummy goodness, with Pierce Brosnan and Julianne Moore on my television, I felt my chest tighten. My upper arms went numb and hot at the same time. I was having trouble breathing. My nose felt congested again. I got up, stumbled to the bathroom, and my face was beet red. I sat down, took deep breaths, and tried to figure out if I should wake up my sister, call 911, drive to a hospital myself, cry, or asphixiate myself to speed up the inevitable.

Then it passed. Then I started getting little tingles all over my body like it was falling asleep. And the itching has begun. Why the fuck am I writing when I should be at the doctor, you ask? Because I don't want to spend the money to go to the emergency room unless I'm really messed up. If my arm spontaneously shatters, then trust me, I'll go.

I have watched enough Discovery Channel to know that if I'm in shock, I'll hear a narrator's voice ring out clear as a bell, "What Grae didn't know is that she was dying. Her body was slowly shutting itself down and in a mere five minutes she would be lying dead at her desk, without having showered after her workout. She also wasn't wearing any underwear, which always makes the Coroners giggle."

When I hear his voice, I'll hop in the car and drive to a nearby hospital.

You know what, though? In spite of all this madness, I feel great. I am keeping wild hours, running this way and that, discussing business, seeing flicks, having fun, and loving every second. I am booked solid with activites, my darlings, and I couldn't be happier. I feel unstoppable. There really is something to this whole Wellness Idea.

I can find joy in everything.

--Like these Darkness lyrics:
I want to kiss you/every minute/every hour/every day

--Or that guy outside walking his beagle

--That mix with songs from YOU (found some of the rarer ones!)

--Doctor's appointments

--Falling asleep in freshly washed sheets

--Smiling at people in a car next to me

--Singing really loudly

--Giving elbow milkings

--Scarves as belts

There is so much in this world that was created to give us a split second of peace...like the fact that I haven't broken out in hives yet, that's one. Definitely.

commando. g

PS. UPDATE: My wonderful doctor has concluded that I gave myself a double dose of Niacin, which opens your capillaries. He was surpised that such a small dose would make me freak out, but he told me that I was "sensitive." And I agreed, because I cry in movies and like giving people hugs, which does in fact make me sensitive.

Also I have decided today that I love it when guys call me "doll."