You Get What You Pay For

I have spent a great deal of time lately on craigslist. I've got apartments to move into, jobs to apply for, Dodgers tix to buy, and pets to be trained. But the biggest thing I'm looking for while on the site? Laughs. And since I didn't find them in the "Computer services" category, I decided to look in the "Casual encounters" section.

That's where the funny was hiding.

Reading all of the posts from the city's finest can really gloss over the small glitches in my day. I now know that if I ever fall upon hard times, there are plenty of pre-op transsexuals out there, who, for a nominal fee, will keep me company. Also, there are lots of hot Latinos, well-hung black guys, and average-looking men on business trips who are eagerly awaiting my *vulgar phrase removed by BlogCensor.com*

The Casual Encounters section embodies everything about the internet that I love to hate. Since the beginning of time, every technological gift that has been bestowed upon humanity has been quickly turned into a new way for us to screw each other or see genitalia. Craigslist started as a cool way to find things going on in San Fran...and now, it's about cool ways to find things in people's pants.

But let's shift out of history and move into punctuation and grammar. The 'net is taking away our already-scant abilities to write properly. The smiley face is now a part of our English lexicon, for Pete's sake. And on top of this, do people honestly respond to ads that repeatedly misspell "sexual" as "sexaul," and request oral sex as "hot BJ luvvv cum over to my place?!"

This is a whole different kind of education here. I have learned that "Generou$$ men" are ones who pay for sex, and that people who ask for "discreet encounters" are married, not the sex they say they are, or people posting their friend's pic online as a joke.

Some people are "sexually fursturated," which I can only assume is some kind of botched circumcision. Others implore the reader to respond "only if you are a hot little slutty girl," which is silly because that kind of title is purely someone's opinion. And the rest are just expletive-filled cries for company. Animal instinct at it's finest.

Reading this section makes me glad that I have a nice boyfriend (but not TOO nice), and zero desire to participate in risky sexual behavior. But the laughs, my darlings, are a 100% DD-HIV free.

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