And You, Brutus?

My conscious mind isn't aware of any high amount of stress present. But my body has sent me some telegrams to let me know that I am, in fact, a little tense. The notices have been in the form of an almost-cold sore on my mouth, little to no sleep, and a decrease in my desire to talk. And now this.

As I rose from bed this morning, entirely too early, I was pulling myself up and I twisted around to see what time it was. My neck spasmed. I cannot move my head now, for fear of setting off shooting pains down my right side. This is not fun. And now I will be punished for my weakness, because I missed church AND brunch, and am not running on enough sleep to be charming about it.

So I took a Vicodin.

It has made me absolutely care less about anything. Don't know what flight or time my boyfriend's flight is coming in tomorrow. Not sure if they're back from breakfast yet. When was that meeting we had scheduled at ESPN? Is my foot on fire?

I don't give a shit.

I don't care that my sister acts like she will shrivel up and die in front of us if we don't like her pumpkin pie and compliment her on the clean house. It doesn't matter that my dad will pout because I benched myself for the morning's religious and eating ceremonies even though he is 73 years old and completely capable of reading his own bible and cutting his own meat. And my mom? Don't care that she doesn't believe I pulled a muscle. Guess what, ma? I HAVE HAD SEX WITH A MAN! More than one, in fact! We don't just kiss and finish up with some discussion of who we're voting for in the next election! Deal with it! Has she ever done it from behind? I doubt it.

I just don't care about anything anymore. And it feels so good.

But strangely, my new best friend Vicodin has made my body feel floaty and free from Thanksgiving Nerves, but my neck still hurts. I just don't pay as much attention. Is this what it's for? I never take pills if I can help it, I got these from a friend along with some marijuana pills. I figured the Vicodin was a safer bet since I don't want to eat Cheetos and burn incense, which is what I always do when I am high.

GUESS WHAT, MOM? I get high, too! Not all the time but occasionally when the situation calls for it! Like when watching Mr. Show or going to movies with my hairdresser!

Fuck this. I'm going to go prop myself somewhere and pretend that I'm not excited the holiday is over. I am going to relish my new desire to be like the drunk aunt that everyone is scared of inviting to family events for fear of what she'll say in front of the kids. It hasn't been a bad experience, these past few days...but boy does Vicodin/sodium pentithol set your soul free.

in vicodin veritas. g