Mad for Mavis pt. 2

When last we spoke, my darlings, I was standing in the middle of the Apple store, with sweat dripping down my face and fear lingering in my heart. My computer was sick and I was desperately trying to forget that she needed major work done. Then, the Holy Lord God Allmighty took away my pain and showed me the answer on a box of software.

Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing.

I had never heard of this Mavis person or any of her typing methods. At that point, it was immaterial, because her liquid brown eyes were staring at me, gently telling me that everything was going to be okay. Typing was not a part of her reassuring siren song.

I knew that if I asked, Mavis would bake me cookies. She would give me a high five when I brought home straight As, and buy me ice cream when my boyfriend dumped me. That beautiful woman with flawless ebony skin would help me become everything I've ever wanted to be. I knew her lessons were numerous and priceless.

So I'm thinking that we need to make more software for every niche market. I am confident that everyone can be touched by Mavis like I've been.

Here are some packages in the works:

Mavis Beacon Teaches:

--How to Kick the Shit out of Someone Who Deserves It
--Oral (with special emphasis on the Testes)
--Embroidery and Other Handicrafts
--Marijuana Harvesting
--Car Detailing
--How to Extort Rich Old Women with nothing but a Toothbrush and a Railroad Tie
--SWAT team Maneuvers (beginning thru advanced)
--The Importance of Duran Duran and Ayatolla Khomeini in World History
--Survival Techniques in both the Wild and the Midwest
--How to Craft Handpuppets out of Human Hair
--How to set Terrorist Traps
--French Horn for Lovers
--How to Make Babies Do Tricks to Impress your Friends

This is just the beginning. Join me, my darlings, in my quest to bring this woman and her genius to the world. Mavis can unite us all!

we are the world. g