The Gift of Black Dudes with Dreadlocks

I realized last night, with a jolt brought by the heavens, that life has handed me several guardian angels in the form of tall black men with dreadlocks. How f'ing cool is THAT?!

Angel #1: In my old building, I used to see this guy on the street around Hollywood. Our eyes would always meet and we would smile. He had a nice energy about him. Then, I was in the elevator going up to my floor, and he steps in. He's telling another guy that it gets SO HOT at Magic Mountain that black people just spontaneously combust all the time. I laughed, and introduced myself. I didn't know he lived in my building. Sean went on to be a great Hollywood presence in my life. It was always so nice to see him, chat, and get some perspective on all the goings-on in my life. He brought me a smile almost every day and helped me through some sad times.

Angel #2: My Jetta was crapping out on me a lot. It had been in the shop WAY too long for a brand new car, and I was sad and scared. When I was picking my car up once, I was waiting for the service manager to get the hell off the phone and I saw this rather imposing-looking TALL black man with dreadlocks. I wondered why his hip self would own a VW. I tried to stay out of his way, because he seemed upset about the car. Just as I was deciding this, he turns around, looks at me, and says, "Your car is all busted up too, huh?" and he has this soft, gentle voice that shocks me.

We get to talking, he offers me a hug because "Baby, neither one of our cars is workin', we need to stick together," and then he tells me to go to another dealership. He says they always fix his problems and they are the "Bomb." He said when I go there, I was to ask for Willie Rocket and tell him that Rambo sent me. I wondered if this would get my car fixed or get me a pound of cocaine. But I did...and lo and behold, those geniuses fixed my car. Been running like a dream ever since.

Angel #3: At the same time as the above, the AFI film festival was going on. I was sitting outside the theater waiting for a friend and it started to sprinkle. I looked up and saw a guy standing next to me, and we got to talking. He was a product specialist for Audi and proceeded to tell me who I should call at VolksWagen of America, what I should say, and how often I should do it. It helped point me in the right direction to complain effectively.

Angel #4: I was working out at the gym, participating in a particularly strange and unattractive exercise (boy, is it going to make my ass look fab, though). My trainer was cheering me on, and a tall black man with Grey dreadlocks walks up beside us. He is staring at me, but not rudely. It was like he was in the forest looking at a flower that only he saw or something poetic like that.

My trainer Bill says, "Have you met Skip yet?" I shake my head and sweat some more. Skip comes over, grabs my hand, shakes it, holds onto it, and says, "You are beautiful." and I say, "Thanks, Skip, so are you." as I huff and puff and continue to do this awkward exercise that involves me lifting my hips up as I squeeze my legs together (which is becoming more and mose sexual by the moment). He holds onto my hand, and goes on. "Your energy brought you here, my darling. Your amazing energy brought you to Bill, and this gym, and you are going to be successful. There are no mistakes in life. You are here for a reason." and I was pretty flabbergasted. He started to sing a song for me, something like, "Grae, sweet Grae, you are a lovely lady..." with a tune similar to that of Edelweiss.

I wiped the sweat from my brow, got off the machine, and flashed the brightest smile I could manage. Funny how life brings you things just when you need them. Do you think this means that Doug E. Doug from Cool Runnings might be one of my angels, too? I hope so. Only if he wears those Dwayne Wayne flip-top shades, though.

Dope. g