Masks We Wear

Native American tribes used face paints to signify different events in their lives--everything from war to celebration. It seems funny to me that we came here, stole their land and made their food sources extinct, etc., but we still managed to miss the important stuff like the aforementioned public declaration of what's going on in your life. Until now...

A line of makeup I got interested in recently is advertising one of its blushes as "giving you the look of being in love." I did some field research, and it truly does deliver that "inner glow" thing that happens when one is all twitterpated and chemically crazy.

The implications of this are staggering. Something like this could be used to fool everyone to be perceived as something we're not...which was the goal of makeup in the first place, I would wager. However, science has now opened the door to making this a more sophisticated venture. I'm going to get a little nuts here and suggest we appropriate some more of the Native American's culture. We could open the door to using makeup/face paint as a way of communicating our life situation.

Consider it--at the swipe of a sable-haired blush brush, you can look like you are in love with someone. Let's capture the look of a promotion at work, a birth, or even your recent feng-shui-friendly rearrangement of your apartment. Maybe they could make a blush that captures the look of grieving, or perhaps just a small adrenal imbalance. You could put on modern-day tribal paints to indicate your triumph over cancer, or a recent breakup.

This could become incredibly useful in our world. Not only could we build a makeup look that indicates we're experiencing something, we could make a key for other people to give them a whole new level of preparedness in dealing with us. "If Jane comes into the office looking slightly orange and sweaty, it means she's using the 'Recently Infected with Chlamydia' tinted moisturizer. Stay away until the antibiotics have run their course." That way, we won't have to ask her how her date with the foreigner went or give her a hug, we can just give her an affectionate wave and some yogurt to replace her friendly bacteria. Awkwardness avoided.

At that critical moment in a date, we could swipe on a touch of "Come Home with me and Screw Me In the Pool" brow highlighter, or choose to put on a dot of "You're Going to Have to Do Better than This" concealer. Perhaps a pat of "I Only Like you Because of your Stock Portfolio" lipstick?

We could integrate staple pieces into our collection to act as self-advertising. Sally used to wear the "I'll Fuck You if you Buy Me Dinner and Dessert" mascara and "Let's See Other People" perfume, but now things have changed. She has turned 25 and decided to start wearing the "I Would Like to Get Married within 5 years" foundation, with a touch of "I am Still on the Fence About Children" bronzer, and finishes it off with several shades from the "Likes it From Behind" lip set. This way, Jon, who wears the "I'm Getting Older and Hate Coming Home Alone to my Apartment that Smells Like Feet" deoderant the green light to maybe start up something special.

I think this could solve all the world's problems. We could get some of those kids in Ethiopia some "I'm Full and Perfectly Healthy" eyeshadow and we would all feel much less guilty.

swirl tap buff. g